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10 Tricks To Be Much More Productive

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Too Busy Doing Nothing

Life can be busy. It seems like the older we get, the greater our responsibilities become. Our jobs, families, friends, and even our electronics and social media, are always vying for our attention. Sometimes it feels like we’re sprinting through life trying to keep up with everything. But do we actually have to?

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Being busy isn’t a difficult status to attain, actually come to think about it, I had a senior colleague in my working life whom always seems to be so busy but are in fact are doing nothing. Hence the phrase, busy doing nothing. Although to the bosses, he seems like a diligent worker, a fact which I consider to be rather ironic.

Whenever there’s a chunk of time, there are things that can fill it. The problem is, sometimes we focus on things that don’t actually add value to our lives. Many of us are busy, but we’re not productive.

We all have limited amount of time in our life, our task is to make sure that our limited time on this planet actually meant something, so that our existence is a blessing to those around us, so that the universe are actually glad that we were born !

It’s time to assess whether what you’re doing aligns with your mission

There have been times when I’ve completed a full workday without doing anything of value for which is more often than I care to admit. Sure, I attended to a barrage of emails and performed menial tasks, but I didn’t tackle anything that put me on the path to advancement and a sense of satisfaction. It’s so easy to get stuck in a holding pattern and there is almost nothing that irk me more than that.

Whenever this happens, I like to have some resources on hand to break the monotony and get back to doing purposeful work. One of my go-to reads is Benjamin Hardy’s If You’re Too Busy For These 5 Things: Your Life Is More Off-Course Than You Think.

If you’re too busy, you may need a course-correction

Even the most organized and driven people need to course-correct once in a while, and Hardy breaks down that thought process for his readers.

He starts by acknowledging that people today are too busy focusing on things that don’t matter in the long run. If we don’t stop to evaluate what we’re doing, we can fall into bad habits and stray from the path we’ve set up for ourselves. It is also important for you to set up your own path.

Then, using a series of questions, Hardy explains the areas of our lives that usually get us into trouble. These include organization, environmental energy, financial energy, relational energy, health energy, spiritual energy, and time. The areas he focuses on have to do with our internal and external worlds. Hardy creates an invitation for you to reflect on yourself.

Finally, he sets out solutions to our most common pitfalls.

The first thing we have to do is hit the pause button, and organize our lives. If you’ve ever been so busy that it seems like life is just piling up around you, you know the importance of this. Your chaotic inner world leads to external disorganization, which feeds more internal chaos. He argues that you have to stop and regroup when this happens. Take a step back and self-audit yourself.

Then, he recommends planning and investing in your future. He means this both in terms of financial health, personal health, and relationships, but also in terms of how you spend your time. If you don’t make a conscious effort to define who you are and why you do what you do, you won’t be able to make the most out of life. Vision setting is an important part of this. He states:

“Your vision should be based on your why, not so much your what.”

He further explains that what you do might change, but your why should remain constant.

He concludes by explaining the importance of tracking your work and moving toward your goals every day. When you don’t hold yourself accountable by keeping track of different metrics, it will be difficult to see when you are off course.

Observe metrics on your relationships, finances, and self-improvement. By keeping track of these areas, you’ll be able to accomplish more, and you’ll be more committed to the end result.

Moving toward your goals takes thought and effort every day. It’s easy to talk about what you want, but it’s another thing entirely to do the work. A famous children’s poem by Shel Silverstein concludes with this:

“But All Those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas/ All Ran Away and Hid/ From One Little Did.”

There’s power in doing the work. Hardy reminds us that “the work” in this case is not busywork. To make progress bit by bit, you have to do the things that relate to your ultimate vision. He recommends doing these things early in the morning, before your energy is depleted by the day.

Why I keep coming back to this article

Re-reading this article is like a yoga instructor reminding you to come back to your breath. It’s the coach telling you to keep moving forward. It’s like saying a mantra over and over in your head in order to manifest a goal. It reminds us that under all the layers of social media, personal and professional labels, and menial tasks, there is a human being dreaming boldly. We have to stick to our core values and fundamentals or we risk getting lost in the shuffle.

The most successful people don’t wind up that way by sheer luck. Building a meaningful life–a life you love–requires planning. You have to monitor your progress and fine tune your methods to get where you want to go. You’ll have to think about how your personal circumstances, experiences, and priorities affect your what and your why.

Distractions are inevitable. We’re human beings subject to wants and frustrations. We take on responsibilities we don’t need to sometimes. We start labeling everything in our lives as equally important. It’s normal for this to happen, but we have to be able to step back and do some self-study to get back on course.

Instant Takeaways from the article that you can use right now

All this talk does us no good unless we can commit to clearing the clutter from our lives to focus on what matters.

  1. Write down your goals and think about your circumstances. Thinking about your goals is great, but when you write them down, it forces you to define exactly what you want. Your written goals can remind you of your purpose when life gets complicated.

Making your goals more concrete can also help you think about circumstances in your life that could affect your outcomes. You’ll be able to anticipate bumps in the road instead of stumbling.

  1. Trim the fat. Once you know what you want, you can remove things that don’t fall in line with your why. Think about it like this: The more time you spend on unrelated tasks, the less time you have to do the things that matter to you.
  2. Get organized.Setting goals is only one part of the equation. If you want to achieve your goals, you’ll need to break them down into small, actionable steps. When you do this, you can also determine what metrics you will use to establish whether or not you’re making progress. By making a plan and monitoring how well you’re sticking to it, you’ll have a greater chance to succeed than when you fly by the seat of your pants.
  3. Don’t be afraid to make changes.Remember that your plan and methods may have to change depending on what’s happening in your life. Perhaps you have encountered a new challenge, or you realized that your original actionable steps are not reasonable. Adjust your plan so that you don’t lose motivation. Like Hardy explained, what you’re doing can always change, but why you’re doing it should not.

Stay focused on your vision

The static of modern life can muddle our efforts and intentions until we find ourselves working without real purpose. It can happen without warning, and before you know it, you’re unhappy, unhealthy, and questioning your value.

Beside, a life worth living are life with purpose.

 

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How to speak so that people want to listen

 

Have you ever felt like you’re talking, but nobody is listening? Here’s Julian Treasure to help. In this useful talk, the sound expert demonstrates the how-to’s of powerful speaking — from some handy vocal exercises to tips on how to speak with empathy. A talk that might help the world sound more beautiful.

The human voice: It’s the instrument we all play. It’s the most powerful sound in the world, probably. It’s the only one that can start a war or say “I love you.” And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don’t listen to them. And why is that? How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?

What I’d like to suggest, there are a number of habits that we need to move away from. I’ve assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking. I’m not pretending this is an exhaustive list, but these seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.

First, gossip. Speaking ill of somebody who’s not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.

Second, judging. We know people who are like this in conversation, and it’s very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you’re being judged and found wanting at the same time.

Third, negativity. You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of her life, became very negative, and it’s hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her, “It’s October 1 today,” and she said, “I know, isn’t it dreadful?”

It’s hard to listen when somebody’s that negative.

And another form of negativity, complaining. Well, this is the national art of the U.K. It’s our national sport. We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything, but actually, complaining is viral misery. It’s not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.

Excuses.

We’ve all met this guy. Maybe we’ve all been this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don’t take responsibility for their actions, and again, hard to listen to somebody who is being like that.

Penultimate, the sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. For example, if I see something that really is awesome, what do I call it?

And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don’t want to listen to people we know are lying to us.

And finally, dogmatism. The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you’re listening into the wind. You know, somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true. It’s difficult to listen to that.

So here they are, seven deadly sins of speaking. These are things I think we need to avoid. But is there a positive way to think about this? Yes, there is. I’d like to suggest that there are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make change in the world. Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is “hail,” and it has a great definition as well. I’m not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky and hits you on the head. I’m talking about this definition, to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, which is how I think our words will be received if we stand on these four things.

So what do they stand for? See if you can guess. The H, honesty, of course, being true in what you say, being straight and clear. The A is authenticity, just being yourself. A friend of mine described it as standing in your own truth, which I think is a lovely way to put it. The I is integrity, being your word, actually doing what you say, and being somebody people can trust. And the L is love. I don’t mean romantic love, but I do mean wishing people well, for two reasons. First of all, I think absolute honesty may not be what we want. I mean, my goodness, you look ugly this morning. Perhaps that’s not necessary. Tempered with love, of course, honesty is a great thing. But also, if you’re really wishing somebody well, it’s very hard to judge them at the same time. I’m not even sure you can do those two things simultaneously. So hail.

Also, now that’s what you say, and it’s like the old song, it is what you say, it’s also the way that you say it. You have an amazing toolbox. This instrument is incredible, and yet this is a toolbox that very few people have ever opened. I’d like to have a little rummage in there with you now and just pull a few tools out that you might like to take away and play with, which will increase the power of your speaking.

Register, for example. Now, falsetto register may not be very useful most of the time, but there’s a register in between. I’m not going to get very technical about this for any of you who are voice coaches. You can locate your voice, however. So if I talk up here in my nose, you can hear the difference. If I go down here in my throat, which is where most of us speak from most of the time. But if you want weight, you need to go down here to the chest. You hear the difference? We vote for politicians with lower voices, it’s true, because we associate depth with power and with authority. That’s register.

Then we have timbre. It’s the way your voice feels. Again, the research shows that we prefer voices which are rich, smooth, warm, like hot chocolate. Well if that’s not you, that’s not the end of the world, because you can train. Go and get a voice coach. And there are amazing things you can do with breathing, with posture, and with exercises to improve the timbre of your voice.

Then prosody. I love prosody. This is the sing-song, the meta-language that we use in order to impart meaning. It’s root one for meaning in conversation. People who speak all on one note are really quite hard to listen to if they don’t have any prosody at all. That’s where the word “monotonic” comes from, or monotonous, monotone. Also, we have repetitive prosody now coming in, where every sentence ends as if it were a question when it’s actually not a question, it’s a statement?

And if you repeat that one, it’s actually restricting your ability to communicate through prosody, which I think is a shame, so let’s try and break that habit.

Pace.

I can get very excited by saying something really quickly, or I can slow right down to emphasize, and at the end of that, of course, is our old friend silence. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of silence in a talk, is there? We don’t have to fill it with ums and ahs. It can be very powerful.

Of course, pitch often goes along with pace to indicate arousal, but you can do it just with pitch. Where did you leave my keys? (Higher pitch) Where did you leave my keys? So, slightly different meaning in those two deliveries.

And finally, volume. (Loud) I can get really excited by using volume. Sorry about that, if I startled anybody. Or, I can have you really pay attention by getting very quiet. Some people broadcast the whole time. Try not to do that. That’s called sodcasting,

Imposing your sound on people around you carelessly and inconsiderately. Not nice.

Of course, where this all comes into play most of all is when you’ve got something really important to do. It might be standing on a stage like this and giving a talk to people. It might be proposing marriage, asking for a raise, a wedding speech. Whatever it is, if it’s really important, you owe it to yourself to look at this toolbox and the engine that it’s going to work on, and no engine works well without being warmed up. Warm up your voice.

Actually, let me show you how to do that. Would you all like to stand up for a moment? I’m going to show you the six vocal warm-up exercises that I do before every talk I ever do. Any time you’re going to talk to anybody important, do these. First, arms up, deep breath in, and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that. One more time. Ahhhh, very good. Now we’re going to warm up our lips, and we’re going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good. And now, brrrrrrrrrr, just like when you were a kid. Brrrr. Now your lips should be coming alive. We’re going to do the tongue next with exaggerated la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Beautiful. You’re getting really good at this. And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr. That’s like champagne for the tongue. Finally, and if I can only do one, the pros call this the siren. It’s really good. It starts with “we” and goes to “aw.” The “we” is high, the “aw” is low. So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww.

Fantastic. Give yourselves a round of applause. Take a seat, thank you.

Next time you speak, do those in advance.

Now let me just put this in context to close. This is a serious point here. This is where we are now, right? We speak not very well to people who simply aren’t listening in an environment that’s all about noise and bad acoustics. I have talked about that on this stage in different phases. What would the world be like if we were speaking powerfully to people who were listening consciously in environments which were actually fit for purpose? Or to make that a bit larger, what would the world be like if we were creating sound consciously and consuming sound consciously and designing all our environments consciously for sound? That would be a world that does sound beautiful, and one where understanding would be the norm, and that is an idea worth spreading.

Thank you.

 

 

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All you have is TODAY . . .

When you wake up in the morning, do not expect to see the evening  – live as though today is all that you have. Yesterday has passed with its good and evil, while tomorrow has not yet arrived, if it ever will.

Therefore, your life’s span is but one day, as if you were born in it and will die at the end of it. With this attitude, you will not be caught between an obsession over the past, with all its anxieties, and the hopes of the future, with all its uncertainties.

Live for today ! During this day you should pray with a wakeful heart, and recite the Quran with understand and remember your lord with sincerity. In this day you should be balanced in your affairs, satisfied with what you been blessed with and concerned with your appearance and health.

Organize the hours of this day, so that you make years out of minutes and months out of seconds. Seek forgiveness from your Lord and prepare for the final parting from this world, and live today happily and truly and be at peace. Be content with your sustenance, your wife, your children, your work, your house, and your station in life.

So hold that which I have given you and be one of the grateful

Quran 7:144

Live today free of sorrow, bother, anger, jealousy and malice.

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Remember these lines . . .

“Today is my only day. If you have eaten warm, fresh bread today, then what do yesterday’s dry, rotten bread and tomorrow’s anticipated bread matter?

When you achieve this attitude, you will profit from every moment of your day, by continuously developing your abilities, and purifying your deeds. Then you say to yourself:

Today I shall be refined in my speech and will utter neither evil speech nor obscenity. Also I shall not backbite.

Today I shall organize my house and my office. They will not be disorderly and chaotic, but organized and neat.

Today I will be particular about my body cleanliness and appearance. I will be meticulous in my neatness and balanced in my walk, talk and actions.

Today i will strive to be obedient to my Lord, pray in the best manner possible, do more voluntary acts of righteousness and kindness, recite the Quran and read beneficial books. I will plant goodness into my hearts and extract from it the roots of evil – such as pride, jealousy, and hypocrisy.

Today I will try to help others – to visit the sick, to attend a funeral, to guide the one who is lost, and to feed the hungry. I will stand side by side with the oppressed and the weak. I will pay respect to the scholar, be merciful to the young, and reverent to the old.

O’ past that has departed and gone, I will not cry over you. You will not see me remembering you, not even for a moment because you have traveled away from me never to return.

O’ future, you are in the realm of the unseen, so I will not be obsessed by your dreams. I will not be preoccupied about what is to come because tomorrow is nothing which has yet to be created.

‘Today is my only day’ is one of the most important statements in the dictionary of happiness, for those who desire to live life in its truly fullest splendor and brilliance.

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Can You Pay off a Sleep Debt ?

Our weekdays morning routine usually meant woken up promptly 

While this is something we all can relate to, it’s not actually “normal.” When you don’t sleep enough during the week yet wake up early every day, you may try to compensate for that sleep-deprivation you feel by sleeping in on the weekend, some sort of ‘revenge’ on your sleep deprived working days. However, you may have noticed that even when you sleep until late in the day on a weekend, you still feel like you aren’t caught up in your rest, still tired. So you make the typical promises to yourself; you’ll get to bed sooner tonight which most of the time goes unfulfilled.

Sleeping can never be compensated

However, sleep and health is not like a bank, you cannot save or pay off a sleep debt or health for that matter.As you’ve probably noticed, no matter how hard you try, you can’t gain back that lost energy over the week, no matter how late you try to sleep on the weekends.

Let’s assume you were only able to catch six hours of shut eye Monday through Friday. You decide that if you can sleep an extra ten hours on the weekend, you’ll be able to catch up and essentially start over. While it’s a nice idea, it’s not a realistic one. In fact, your reacting times and ability to focus will tend to be worse than if you had pulled an all-nighter.

If you slept poorly last night, or just not enough, you may have a chance to make up for it, but only if you make up for it tonight. If you try to catch on lost sleep over a long period of time, you won’t succeed.1

While some of you may have just read that and thought, ‘hmm, that means I can go to bed late tonight to finish up my project and I’ll just make up for it later,’ don’t be tempted. Sleeping late on the weekend to try to make up for the lost time will only result in further disrupting your sleeping pattern. You’ll only feel worse.2

One such study, done by Northwestern University, has shown that when animals are sleep deprived – even partially – over consecutive days, they actually make no attempt to make up for that lost sleep.3 This study is the first to prove repeated (although partial) sleep loss negatively affects an animal’s ability to compensate for that lost rest. And as animals ourselves, we can learn from this fact.

However, please note that, the amount is not truly the issue, the quality of sleep is what important. Besides, some of the best entrepreneur or performer of our generation hint at the idea that sleep pattern can be trained to be shorten. As Eric Thomas said, sleep is over-rated.

Catching up a sleep debt later makes your brain suffer

No matter what you’re doing late at night, sleep should be a priority. The more tired you are, the harder it is to accomplish even the smallest task. Even menial tasks like participating in a conversation with someone can seem particularly challenging because focus requires an intensity that you can only achieve through rest. The distraction you experience due to sleep loss is serious. Not to mention how dangerous that can make something like driving.4

Lack of sleep also impacts short-term memory. Research has shown that sleep deprivation has a big impact on verbal learning and cognitive understanding. The findings show that,5

“there are dynamic, compensatory changes in cerebral activation during verbal learning after sleep deprivation and implicate the PFC and parietal lobes in this compensation”

Essentially, we overcompensate in our sleepy state and hyper-focus on what someone is saying to us-but only in the moment. We quickly forget the information and that can lead to embarrassing forgotten events.

Therefore, it is important to take a break or rest or even a short nap once your body signaled that you required it. either your start yawning, your eyes felt heavy, or a tired body, this is all a tell sign that the body need rest. however, if that what you are feeling 24/7, then, you really need to re-evaluate your life and  your health. it might be a change of lifestyle and health-style is required.

An extra hour of sleep a night for a rested feeling

Go to bed when you are tired; don’t try to fight it. Set reminders to get you to sleep earlier. You may start with setting an alarm to remind you to sleep half an hour earlier at night, and then reset it to an hour earlier a week later. Gradually you’ll get used to sleeping earlier.

If you have to be on your phone or computer before bed, dim the screen brightness to aid you in the transition to darkness.

If at all possible, allow your body to wake you up naturally in the morning (this means no alarms). As your body resets itself over time, you may feel a bit worse before you feel better, but be patient.6

“As you erase sleep debt, your body will come to rest at a sleep pattern that is specifically right for you. Sleep researchers believe that genes—although the precise ones have yet to be discovered—determine our individual sleeping patterns. That more than likely means you can’t train yourself to be a “short sleeper”—and you’re fooling yourself if you think you’ve done it.

More than anything, make sure you listen to your body. If you feel you would sleep later than the alarm you have set in the morning, or like you need coffee in the morning to focus on anything, there’s a good chance you aren’t getting the amount of sleep you need. Don’t get caught up in aiming for 7 hours, 8 or even 9 hours of sleep. Instead, focus on what your body is telling you and how you feel when you personally sleep for 6,7, 8, etc. hours.

Owe no sleep debt

Whether you’re a student, a professional, or a stay-at-home parent, remember that one of your most important and essential jobs is to sleep. While there are so many articles out there telling you how many hours you should get based on gender and age, none of those articles know your body like you do; so listen to it.

Whenever possible, skip the morning alarm. Enjoy coffee if it’s something you love, but if you realize you feel like you can’t function without it, determine how you could have slept better or longer the night before.

Additional Tips

It is important to complete your sleep cycle, since you might not know what does that actually meant, you could use the online sleep calculator to either calculate when you suppose to go to bed based on when you want to wake up, or when you suppose to wake up based on the time you went to bed.

Sleep is important but you sure don’t want your life sleeping?

REFERENCES

[1]          HuffPost: 6 Sleep Myths To Finally Put To Bed

[2]          Tuck: Myth of Catch-Up Sleep

[3]          Science Daily: Chronically Sleep Deprived? You Can’t Make Up For Lost Sleep

[4]          Business Insider: 23 Incredible Benefits Of Getting More Sleep

[5]          Nature: Altered brain response to verbal learning following sleep deprivation

[6]          Scientific American: Can You Catch Up on Lost Sleep?

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How Simply Jotting Down Ideas Can Make You Smarter

On average, an adult has an average of 50,000 thoughts every day. Now try to recall 100 of those thoughts from earlier today. Pretty hard if not impossible, right?

It’s normal to forget most of them as our brains have to filter out unnecessary information so that we don’t go insane and to optimize our energy consumption. 1 The problem is that we forget a lot of great ideas along the way. So, one simple way to preserve our ideas is to jot them down.

Great ideas often come when a person is unprepared

Most of the time great ideas come when your brain is in “diffused mode”: Thoughts come to you in this state when you’re not intently focused, like when you’re daydreaming or zoning out in the shower.  Creative ideas come to us during this state of mind because this is when our minds are the most relaxed. This is when our brains connect different neural pathways to come up with brand new ideas (the same as how creativity allows us to connect the dots, our brains do this naturally in this state).  The problem is that because our brains are so relaxed, there’s no intention to mark down ideas that come along.

 

Never trust your brain: it’s bad at memory

Very often the ideas that come to us during diffuse mode can be a bit abstract. Out of the box thinking, if you will. This is your best content. The high level, creative, new ideas that are going to take the world by storm.

Remember the genius, ground-breaking idea you came up with in the shower? The one that was going to revolutionize the world as we know it? Of course you can’t remember. Your monumental idea slipped through the cracks of your memory, never to be heard from again because you didn’t take the time to write it down.

This once happened to me while i’m doing the dishes, a simple solution to a rather complex problem thru a simple experimental method.

*p.s. i cannot actually share the details since it is a confidential information.

In today’s race against time, we just can’t spare an extra moment to jot down the ideas that constantly pass through our heads. Some people may think that it’s even a waste of time. We think that if the thought is that important, we will remember it later and put it into action. But we don’t. And we’re just left with that empty vagueness- “I know I was on to something, what was it again?”

Don’t be lazy, jot down the great idea no matter how confident you are that you’ll remember it

Keep recording tools within reach, but not directly in sight. If you set out a notebook and pen directly in front of you, you are no longer in diffuse mode and thoughts are not free flowing. But you want the notebook to be close enough, so that when the thoughts do come to you, it takes very little mental and physical effort to quickly jot them down.

Smartphone apps such as Evernote are a great option for this. Some others are recording apps, a waterproof notebook for the shower, your laptop, or simply a notebook and pen (this is my personal favorite, more authentic.)

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Resist the urge to organize

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of immediately organizing your thoughts as they come to you. Don’t do it. Organizing is a separate task for later, when you switch into focus mode (the opposite of diffuse mode). in other words, lets your imagination run wild.

Stick to the process of free thinking and writing down ideas and leaving them alone until later. If you try to organize them as they come, you’ll lose many ideas because you are too focused on a single idea. You’ll also lose motivation because you’re loading yourself up with work and complicating the process.

Review your ideas from time to time

Now that you have the ideas written down, you need to reinforce the ideas to turn them into something bigger. You should review your ideas around 3 times a week.

While reviewing you can filter out some of the less useful ideas, organize them, and start developing the potentially successful ones.

Remember, most people have plenty of great ideas, just very few of them bother to jot them down. And those who do are the ones who succeed.

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5 STEP METHOD FOR ATTAINING YOUR GOALS

Courtesy: The monk who sold his Ferrari by Robin S.Sharma

1.Set a clear vision of your outcome

2. Create little positive pressure (bearable) to keep you inspired

3. Never set a goal without deadline,Fix one

4. A goal not committed to paper is not a goal at all. Call it a Dream Book which helps you to get to know about yourself and what you are about?

5. Magic rule of 21. (21 days mandatory to make anything your habit)….Any new action sowed will reap after 21 days (something like mandalam in spiritual terms)

 

Note: Chinese define a person’s image in 3 ways (3 mirrors)

Mirror 1. How you see yourself?

Mirror 2.How others see you?

Mirror 3.Reflects Truth

…Know the truth

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So what is that one cursed sentence that makes you a boring person?

“I don’t mind”

Have you ever been dumped because the person you were trying to do so much for and be nice to all the time, thought of you to be boring? It must have hurt and ached to have been quit on by the one you loved, all because you were trying your very best to be the nicest thing since sliced bread. Well guess what, being ‘nice’ all the time is overrated and makes you a boring person. That is probably the root cause of one of the most common cliche of all, GIRLS LIKE BAD BOYS, bad boys are unpredictable and lively. But then, we are not recommending anyone to go BAD!.

WE RECOMMEND YOU TO BE A BETTER YOU !.

Being ‘nice’ doesn’t mean going with the flow all the time!

 What is it about you that others find attractive? And here, by “attractive” we do not mean only romantically – there have to be some engaging qualities in you that make people likes you, that make they want to be your friend, to hire you, to be like you and of course, to like and love you. These qualities are what make you unique and interesting. Plus, we are living in an era of distraction, we get distracted almost every second, by Facebook, twitter, Instagram and a million of other things. Therefore, it is important to be “attractive”. Good news is, you don’t have to be good looking to be attractive, you have to be you.

 People might like you for your conversation skills, shared interests and hobbies, and because you are all heart. However, being a caring person has got nothing to do with not having a voice of your own. If you are the kind of person who thinks that a relationship only works when you go with the flow, and you ignore you own thoughts and likes to do so – then you are heading down the road to bitter breakup and will be a labeled a boring person. [1]   Nobody likes a boring person, that is the reason why we have a multi-billion dollar industry focused on killing BOREDOM that is the entertainment industry.

 An ‘I don’t mind’ attitude tells the other person that you have no mind of you own.

 Imagine someone asking you, what’s the best option for dinner? You shrug and indicate that the other person can go ahead and choose; you are all right with anything. As a onetime scenario this is fine, but if this is an oft repeated scene in the drama that is your life – then your ‘I don’t mind” attitude is making you one boring person. [2]

 In a relationship, it’s good to disagree every now and then. It’s even okay to have a few fights and then agree to disagree. Nodding your head to everything, being a yes man or woman and portraying yourself as someone who is okay with just anything and everything the other party wants is just dull. Being nice all the time takes the fun out of any relationship – be it as friends or romantically. And it makes you a boring person.

 Being a “YES-MAN” makes for unhealthy relationships.

 How can one be okay with everything? The answer is, no one can. However, in a bid to be nice or rather to be thought of as nice, you may be stifling your wishes and dreams and going with the flow. It may be to keep your significant other happy, or trying to be just another cog in a well-oiled machine at your workplace. Whatever be the reasons or the situation, the ‘I’m okay with anything’ attitude of yours will not get you far.

 Firstly, the person or parties that you are doing this for, may start resenting you for not having the courage or conviction to make your own decisions, in any most company, decisiveness is a highly valuable  trait if you want to climb higher in the corporate ladder. You will be perceived as a pushover and this projected niceness of yours will not earn you any brownie points but rather makes you a valuable errant boy.

 Secondly, if you are deliberately being fine with anything and everything, after a while this act of yours may start to wear you down and the very relationship that you are trying to strengthen with this niceness, will sour even for you! [3]

Take charge every once in a while.

 The solution to this is to get up and take charge every once in while. The next time anyone asks for your opinion, politely give it but don’t act like a know it all person, nobody likes a know it all! The next time you have the urge to say no, say it. The next time you feel like standing out like a sore thumb, do it!

 Be a nice person, but also be your own person, BE A BETTER YOU!.

 By being you, you will most definitely attract your very own “special one” whom will love you just as you are.

Reference:-

[1]Psychology Today: 5 Signs You Are Trying Too Hard To Please Everyone

[2]Tiny Buddha: How To Stop Saying Yes When You Want To Say No

[3] Bustle: 9 Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship That Are Easy To Miss Because They Can Happen To Anyone

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How to Sleep Less and Stay Healthy

How much sleep do we really need? Of course it’s very personal, but “seven to eight hours should be enough” is what we keep hearing from most sources. But is it possible to shorten this time, without hurting your health?

Indeed, sufficient sleep time is important for your body to function well during the day. Sleep helps your body to recover from illness, minimizes the effect of stress, increases ability to concentrate, and improves memory and coordination. You don’t want to put these abilities at risk, do you?

The good news is that it is possible to shorten sleep time by up to 1 hour without the risk of sleep deprivation if you understand and follow these two simple rules.

How to Sleep Less

Rule 1. It’s not just the quantity of sleep that counts, but also the quality.

Everyone has woken up after 10 hours sleep and felt fatigue, as well as getting up after 6 hours of sleep feeling completely refreshed and rested. There are many factors that may influence how long you need to sleep to feel rested, but the rule is simple. The higher is the quality of your sleep, the smaller amount of sleep time you need. This is the first recipe in shortening your sleep time. It seems to be logical, but how you can improve the quality of your sleep? There are a number of ways to do it but the most practical are:

  • Do not eat before going to bed (at least 2 hours before sleep time).
  • Sleep in dark, quiet room.
  • Try using a sleep optimization program. These work wonders for some people.
  • Sleep with fresh air (open windows or get air refresher).
  • Exercise during the day. If you don’t exercise, go for a 15 minutes walk before the sleep time.
  • Do not watch TV in the bed before going to sleep. Read a book, take a bath, do something relaxing.
  • Don’t drink coffee or other stimulants within 6 hours of bed time.
  • Don’t take long naps (more than 30 mins) during the day.

Follow these simple tips and within one or two weeks you will notice how your sleep starts improving.

Rule 2. Any habit can be changed, slowly

There is an old African proverb. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” The same is true for changing your sleep habits. When do you go to sleep, how long you sleep, where you sleep –- it’s all part of the sleeping pattern that your body is accustomed to. Like any habit, it can be changed by taking small but regular steps.

Start waking up 5 minutes earlier every 2-3 days. In one week, you’ll be waking up 15 minutes earlier. In one month, you’ll be waking up 1 hour earlier! To make it even easier, you can take slower steps and extend your experiment for 2 or 3 months by shifting your sleep time by 5 minutes a week. To succeed in this experiment, you should try and go to bed at about the same time every day. It requires discipline, but result is well worth it.

As you start sleeping less and less, it’s crucial to remember and follow the first rule about quality sleep. This is your only way to compensate for less sleep.

Just imagine what you can do with all the free time you can get from waking up earlier. If you can manage to get one extra hour per day you’ll end up with 365 hours per year –- that’s equal to 9 work-weeks of productive time! By utilizing this time you could learn a new language, read dozens of books (or even write some!) and start exercising regularly. Morning time is also the most productive time. No wonder the early rising habit is so common among successful people. Become one of them!

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This guest post is contributed by Y. Graf, the author of the How to Wake Up Early blog. His blog is loaded with tips, tricks and strategies to help everyone in building the early wake up habit and becoming an early riser.

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What Makes People Happy

If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.
Chinese Proverb

What makes people happy?

You might think it’s money, fame, fortune or having the perfect relationship.

This is farthest from the truth.

These are only things that most people “think” will make them happy, not things that will truly have a positive effect on your outlook on life.

Money is great and we all need it for survival and to live a quality life. It is not the be-all-end-all of happiness though.

Neither is having the perfect relationship either.

This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions. You will never find true happiness in someone else.

So what really makes people happy?

Here’s a true fact: Happiness never comes from outside of you, it always comes from within.

Happiness is at your deepest core.

Happiness lies in your journey, not in any kind of destination.

Happiness is your journey.

It is providing another person with hope.

It’s making the world a better place because of something that you have said or done.

Giving to this world is the true secret of happiness.

Don’t postpone your happiness until you achieve a certain goal.

Be happy right here in this moment; right here, right now.

What makes people happy is already here. It’s YOU!

So just be happy!