In this digital age, it seems like it is becoming difficult to behave in our best interest. There are so many people vying for our attention but we need to build good fences to set boundaries. It is because, in life, we have to do things that we don’t want to do. But the situation becomes worse when we agree to something we don’t even have to do. Therefore, it is of mighty importance that we say ‘no’ to the things that we ought to.
Why it is hard to say No:
People are often seen accepting the jobs they don’t want to do, marrying people they are unsure about and accept promotions which they do not consider of their choice. It happens because for many it is extremely hard to say “No”. In order to please others and make other people like us, we care a lot about others perception of us. We think that refusing to do something that others want may break their heart but in reality, it is “yes” that we really don’t mean brings more damage.
Honoring our self is important:
Saying yes to the people we admire just not to break their heart, in the long term will foster resentment and regret when we don’t honor our own needs and preferences. It leads into a spiral of negative self-talk which causes depression as well as anxiety.
Following are the few ways to start cultivating the habit of saying no to others:
As yourself the question:
When you are asked to do something, always question yourself that if you really are interested in doing it. If you find yourself in confusion then consult someone you trust. Take some time to focus on your inner feelings and then decide whether you want to agree to do what others want.
Get aware of your body:
When you are asked to do something, always check how you feel about it in your body. Your body knows how to better react with the outer responses. You just need to listen to the signals your body sends to you, you may feel tired on receiving an invitation to something you don’t want to do, or you may experience an explainable physical pain.
Do not answer instantly:
Even if you are not asked to do something that requires you to think, take time to think and then answer. You need to think about all requests, invitations, or propositions that seem to be answered immediately.
Remember, the old saying, never made promises when you are happy, never say something you might regret when you are mad.
Always remember three of gates of speech before you say something, (1) is it true? , (2) Is it necessary? , (3) Is it kind?
Stop giving elaborate excuses:
You don’t need to justify or apologize for saying “no” to others. People are interested whether you can do the work they want you to do or not, they are not interested in any explanation. It might seem tough but simply saying “no” to something is just enough.
Start with little things:
Before you end up into bigger troubles, start saying “no” to smaller things you think you cannot do. You need to practice declining of the invitations you don’t want to accept and the things you do not want to do. With this practice, you will be able to decline to bigger propositions in a much better way.
Categories: Personal Development